The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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