You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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