good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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