Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Who died my cat blue again?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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