The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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