Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
