We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
