I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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