One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
