Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
