i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
