just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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