I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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