If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sober January is a disaster.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
