Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
