How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
