dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
