why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
