I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
