Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
