Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
