I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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