So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
