You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
