it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
