i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
