I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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