we should wear snuggies to the strip club
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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