it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
