yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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