i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
