I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
