Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
