I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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