We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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