We're like a lot better than the average bears
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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