he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
