did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
