Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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