I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
