my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
