I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
