I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Quick, to the slutcave!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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