she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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