He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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