It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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