Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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