You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
