She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just had sex on a roof
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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