She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
